My Older Thoughts

All hail the new season.

Dr. S — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 23:07:00 +0000

For now, my world is these spots of green, these shoots of new, dotted with fuzz and damp. Sharpnesses go soft; ground prepares to disappear for the next half-year. I pass the woods daily, wonder whether I should tramp and traipse and risk mud and groundsink before the poisonous weeds block me for the summer. Instead I strain toward tiny leaves, crouch to fallen blossoms, watch the world seed itself over. Instead I get closer to what I can already reach. Instead I practice focus. Instead I fight the impulse to autopilot.

Tutelary celebrant.

Dr. S — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 22:02:00 +0000

He has been out there for just as long as this blog has been alive, and so this March marks the fourth time he's waited to welcome you to spring.

Mess of green.

Dr. S — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 22:45:00 +0000

The way we live now.

Dr. S — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 01:55:00 +0000

Settling and growing.

Dr. S — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 02:56:00 +0000

It's been a day for feeling my way through things, which is a more difficult and more worthwhile process than the kinds of fixes for which I reached when I was younger and knew less.

Let's just stick with that theme, shall we?

Dr. S — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 01:46:00 +0000

Then his production values get better! And it turns out that he's the son of Jimmy Choo (yes, that Jimmy Choo).

It is all the more important that we dance today, and dance well, because my brother is now thirty. For real. I can't believe it either.

On being my own biggest time suck.

Dr. S — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 01:10:00 +0000

Perhaps the thing I hate most about grading--much of which experience, for me, is taken up with having grading to do but very actively not wanting to do it--is that it helps enable my worst time-sucking capabilities. Or at least so I tell myself, here at the end of a weekend wherein I swore I would finish a batch of papers that, realistically, there was no way I'd finish. I'm approaching the halfway point, which should feel like a small triumph, and I'm chugging along through it and doing my very best--as, it turns out, did my students. It's possible that I've never received such a strong batch of essays all from one class. And so I sit here and hold myself down for one paper and then let myself float off for a few minutes, and then I hold myself down for another paper and then let myself float off for a few more minutes. Right now--as you surely must know--I'm floating. Off.

On the other hand! If I didn't have to grade, not only would I stop getting paychecks, but I'd also probably never discover things like this:

The dude at 1:11 is priceless.

Lines and curls.

Dr. S — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 12:57:00 +0000

Posted.

Dr. S — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 02:55:00 +0000

Reticulata.

Dr. S — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 03:33:00 +0000

Suddenly this year, in addition to all the tiny crocuses, we have tiny irises all over downtown. Bulbous splendor (for it turns out that these little ones aren't rhizomatic--who knew?)! Thank goodness for those who think ahead for us.

Vitality is on my mind this week--as in, what sustains it? And what swamps it? I feel myself being drawn off in every direction, and putting on clamps to staunch my outward flow is probably not going to be easy or entirely well-received, as choices go. And yet.